The Capacity of Creative Connection

C+S 2020 students are blogging about topics that interest them for Applications in Climate and Society, a core spring class.

If you’d asked me in 2018 what my biggest accomplishment was, I’d say singing in Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir piece, Deep Field: The Impossible Magnitude of our Universe. The project brought singers from around the world together into one video and paired them with imagery from the Hubble Space Telescope. I’d wanted to be a part of it since I was 13. It was an incredibly profound experience for someone who has been singing as long as they can talk and studied music for most of their life.

This year, though, something changed for me as I dove into climate science.

Studying science is hard, not just technically, but emotionally. It’s strangely disconnected from all the parts of myself I had come to know as a musician. Stepping into the world of all-consuming scientific academia had connected me to graphs, datasets, and lines of code and pushed the joyful, free-loving musician inside of me into the shadows.

I didn’t realize how deep this shift had affected me until I happened upon the video of the Virtual Choir that I was in. This was one of my greatest accomplishments, and I had forgotten about it. I always told myself that music would be with me wherever I went because it kept me grounded, and yet I let so much of it pass through my fingers because I was busy studying climate change.

Realizing that I’d forgotten one of the most impactful moments of my life was a wake-up call. I’d had this feeling in the back of my mind for a while. But this was the final nail in the coffin in this idea that when I was wearing my scientist shoes, I had to forget about all of the other parts of myself to maintain objectivity and scientific professionalism. I felt like I couldn’t be myself.

There is an overwhelming need for a greater level of connection between arts and science. Calculations can feel cold, impersonal and, well, calculating. The field of climate change is sometimes even more so; there’s already a certain level of existential anguish around climate science. But without the relief that the arts and other creative outlets bring, the people analyzing the datasets won’t be able to connect that data to the real world.

I love what I’m doing. But climate change is stressful. Without coping mechanisms and adequate self-care, dealing with hard science can turn you into a hard person. Connection to the creative parts of life, the beautiful parts of life, is essential. That’s music for me. For others, it may be painting, or dance, or pottery, or baking, but whatever it is, we have to keep those connections within our hearts.

I love music, and I also love science. I don’t know how to reconcile the polarizing binary between them, and I’m still struggling with it now. Clearly I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that when I finish a project, I can take an hour or two and focus on something other than lines of code so that I can maintain my sanity and connection between the musician and the scientist inside of me.